Today marks the anniversary of the death of one of the greatest acts ever in all of music: Prince. Now, I am not here to tell you what was so great about him, because that would take a book. I’m not here to tell you why you should listen to him, because if you aren’t or do not, well…let’s just say I’m judging you if you say you do not. All of my compatriots have different tastes in music and we all agree on one thing: Prince is awesome, especially his seminal albums with the Revolution (you should probably go out and get the albums 1999 and Purple Rain, and watch the movie Purple Rain. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.)
Ok…now that that is out of the way, I am going to get to the point: Prince was metal as fuck. I see metal heads in my head right now saying “Now Jeff, how can you say that. It is a ludicrous idea and unfounded.” I answer that with ” Hear me out unibrow” and then play this one song from the album and trendsetting awesome movie, Purple Rain, and that song is this:
Listen to that song. Feel Prince’s awesome blouse rub against. Know that he banged your grandmother and your mom and probably every female member of your family and your friend’s family and his friend’s family. Trust me. That’s a scientific fact. (Disclaimer: I don’t know if it is fact, nor am I scientist.) Really, this song is metal as fuck.
This is due to many reasons. The lyrics are articulate and dirty, with many fucking mediocre deathcore bands wishing they could be this articulate, instead of having their 2nd grade vocabulary and tending to run towards the more knuckle dragging aspect of conversing (mouth breathing).
The guitar work is something any musician should aspire for. Intricate, dissonant, funky, minor, and awesome. It doesn’t make the song, it is PART of the song. Learn why prince was awesome as a song writer, this is part of it. Take notes and pay attention class. And it is fucking catchy as hell, sticking in your head like glue.
The drumming….let’s talk about that. Listen to that song above. the ending of specifically. The last 45 seconds (roughly) is all double bass. I mean, the type of double bass Dave Lombardo heard when he was younger and came all over his snare drum like a wet dream of rhythm. The type of drumming you don’t expect in the song, and you may not have noticed it ever until now, but it works, and it’s there.
Finally, the secret message. Play the song from ending to beginning. There is a secret message. This used to be reserved to just metal bands, hidden messages being held for those who played metal. Prince gave 0 fucks and said lets do it because I’m fucking Prince and this is mine.
Besides all this, Prince is really just awesome, a chameleon of sorts, able to coax people to the dance floors, women out of pants, men to think they could sing in a falsetto voice, and brought a broad sense of song writing ability to the main stream, and did it all while wearing purple outfits, playing Telecasters and weird shaped guitars, being androgynous, and also being a total conundrum to everyone outside of his circle (seriously, dude had more endorsements for music equipment than anyone you know or will ever know). But goddamn, if that shit isn’t metal as all holy fuck.
Game…Blouses. Go have some pancakes.